he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
