she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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