Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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