My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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