I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
