I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize