Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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