dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
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I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
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Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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