Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
