Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
