It's just like the Real World with babies
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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