I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
i out mim tonsoeep
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