saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
