every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
We need to get me chipped asap
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
