we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
