She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
