I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
