He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Is it because I queefed?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
