i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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