I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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