Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
