I used to practice getting hit by cars.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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