i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
