I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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