69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
