Do you still have your period?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
