Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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