I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
