Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
