By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
