he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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