you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
This baby is an asshole
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
