The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
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