Have you finally orgasmed yet?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
