How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
The chlamydia really affected his face.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
