are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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