these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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