I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
