Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
