Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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