Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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