i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
operation have a gay friend backfired
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
