I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
the liver wants what the liver wants
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
