Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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