It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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