Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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