it wasn't lemon gatorade
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
