does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
