Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
