I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
