in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Jerry, you need to find god
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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