He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
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You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
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Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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