I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
