Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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