Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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