This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
my poor anus
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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