i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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