I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
