This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Your topless pictures make me question reality
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Who died my cat blue again?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize