I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
only you would photoshop your dick
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
