I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
