I must be too annoying 4 u.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
