If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
