Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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