i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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