i was born a porn star she said
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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