when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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