i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
