We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
